the 5% is talking...

I've been trying to figure out for the past couple of days what I want to blog about but the only obvious thing I can come up with is how my life has drastically changed.

95% of the time I am a perfectly happy wife and mommy of two. Obviously I choose to be happy that 95% of the time even though there are things I can be very unhappy about. The 5% of flat out unhappiness has made it's way into my life the past two or three days. It could be because I'm sleep deprived and my patience bank has about dried out OR because that's just how things are-sleep deprived or not.

My toddler has mastered this whiny tone that cuts to the bone. I'm not kidding when I say I get this intense urge to pop her in the mouth (although I haven't-don't go calling the authorities). It's so nerve wrecking and annoying and flat out BEYOND frustrating. I guess she picked this up when little sister came home and gets her cries responded to right away. She thinks it should be this way for her as well. Another thing she has been doing is throwing fits when I pick a movie for her to watch because she's not using her words to tell me herself what she wants to watch. It drives me nuts. Seriously, I think my brain cells are dying off from lack of good quality sleep.

And Isabelle, she is such a great baby BUT she's not really happy with anyone holding her but momma. She gets ticked when she has the hiccups which happens after almost every feeding. She has tummy problems that I'm trying to figure out by changing around some things in my diet. I've gone from regular 2% cows milk to Lactaid-lactose free milk. I just started that a couple of days ago so we'll see how that helps. She's been staying up from like 9pm to 1am, sometimes close to 2. This does not fly so well when I have to get up in the morning and tend to a two year old who really wants and needs my attention, hence all the sleep deprivation talk.

I'm good for no one right now...well...except for acting as a dairy cow. I'm in serious need of a vacation. A vacation from scheduling, planning, playing, thinking. laundry. dishes. breakfast. lunch. dinner. snacks.

But THEN, my tough two year old says, "thank you momma" after I give her something she asks for. She says, "bless you momma" and "bless you baby" after she hears one of us sneeze. She says, "baby trrryy" when she hears the baby crying. She tells the baby not to "try" when she, herself, is scared or doesn't like something-like the toilet flushing in public bathrooms (because they're so loud). She says, "hold jew momma" when she wants to be held. She says, "momma sit" when she wants me to hang out with her in her room. I hear her tell "Charlie dog" and "titty" (the letter t sound for the c and k sound remember!! LOL!) goodnight after we put her to bed and leave the room. And THOSE are the things that keep me sane and thrilled about being home with my kids. SOOOO, even though I'm just about ready to pull every strand of hair out of my head I'll hear that sweet little pitched voice and involuntarily a smile will come to my face and I'll involuntarily become happy again :-) forgetting all that I was frustrated about just seconds before.

So hears to sleep. Do I have any amens?!