what a mess

It seems the picture we sent to daddy worked afterall. He passed the test!!! YAY!!! We are very excited and relieved to have this phase over..... only to be stuck in another couple of months of not knowing where life will take us.

We found out today, after contacting a guy from MAF over the weekend, that the internship has been cancelled due to insufficient funds to run it. It was definitely a bummer to find that out but I'm assuming God has something better than the internship in store for us!!?! I was so sure it was the next step. So now, here we are, unsure of the future. Is this really the direction we're supposed to be heading afterall??? SOOOO MANY QUESTIONS so little answers!

If you know me at all, you know that I hate being unprepared and I hate unscheduled schedules. Haha. I am a person who likes to know what's coming next, I like having a plan, I like being sure of my next step. This whole not knowing stuff is for the birds. I'm sure God is using this time to bring out some of my flaws...being that I'm impatient, a control freak of some sort, and seriously, not as good of a planner as I THINK I am. It's true, alll true.

So here I am, sitting in my pajamas at 1:05 pm in my messy room, at my messy desk, with Veggie Tales babysitting my child whom is wearing only a diaper while drinking her sippy cup of juice with toys scattered all around her ALL while I complain about order and answers. I think I have some work to do.

it's almost time

Today my husband is taking the final portion of his commercial test. I'm getting really excited. We are BOTH very happy to be getting this phase OVER WITH! I know he is going to do great because he is great at what he does. People often ask if I feel unsafe or scared flying with Sean and I say, "OF COURSE NOT!!" He is one of the most safe, cautious, smart people I know when it comes to flying. He always makes sure he is up to guidelines and requirements he needs in order to travel with other people, he maps out our trips very carefully, he prays right before take off and if he ever felt uncomfortable about a flight he would definitely ask us to stay home (which he has done before). I know my man is good at what he does, I know he'll pass this test and complete another phase of his big dream. I'm so excited!!!
Here's a picture we sent to his cell phone today for some encouragement:

outside fun with OCD

Today Anna♥Kate and I played outside for a little while. She always finds it entertaining to pick the grass and attempt to get it to her mouth before I say, "no!". Usually I win, but sometimes she catches me off guard...usually when I have the camera to my eye. It's fun to see her enjoying nature. She loves being outside. She loves crawling in the grass (as far as I can tell) and if you know me you know it's hard for me to relax enough to let her do that. What if she stains her cute pants? Or gets a bug bite? Or a rash? Or poked by a stick? Or sneaks a bug or leaf as her next snack?The possibilities are endless and most of the time I'd rather not try. But I'm trying really hard to let my kid be a kid and not an OCD weirdo like her momma. I'm not SUPER OCD but I definitely have some characteristics that drive even myself nuts.

I'm even OCD when it comes to posting pictures. I can't put horizontal pictures in the same row with vertical or vertical with horizontal...however you want to put it. I just can't. They have to be the same size and shape...no matter what. If they aren't, they must take a place somewhere else. Absolutely ridiculous, I know...but I like things to look good. Hopefully someone out there appreciates that. :)

chiquita longhorn

I had to share this with you.

My new favorite little food to buy for AK are the mini chiquita's. They are too cute!

Don't you wish you had some?!!!

And, here we are today making family proud.

...MAF...

Weeellll, my husband took the first part of his commercial test on Saturday morning. He didn't get to go up in the plane for the second half because of the weather :(. He is supposed to finish that part at the end of this week sometime although we're not positive it will happen then either. It all depends on the instructor and his schedule. The good news is, he passed the oral exam! Yay. I'm so proud of him. This has been his dream since he was a little boy and he is finally getting to a place where he can breathe a sigh of relief. It has been a long and grueling process. Props to him though-he's been working a full time job, raising a family (helping anyways) and working on this commercial licensing stuff...which has taken a lot of time and effort.

I'm telling you all of this to get to my next point. I am getting really excited/anxious/scared/yet happy about the next phase of our life. We were talking in bed lastnight about which "plans" come next (I put that in quotes because sometimes God has plans of his own ;)). Once he gets his license (hopefully at the end of the week) he'll be calling MAF whose headquarters are in Idaho. We are hoping to apply for a year long internship they offer for prospective missionaries with their organization. This internship starts in JANUARY. We are hoping that they haven't filled the position yet. I really feel like this would be a great start for us as far as being a part of the organization goes. This will give us a little taste of what the org is like and it would be a better chance to get to know the people involved. Otherwise (if we don't get the internship), we'd be finishing up the last of our requirements to apply full force- get accepted, support raise and then head off. I don't know if my heart is quite ready for such a huge transition.

ANYWAYS, in the mean time, I continue to think over all of the possibilities. If we get accepted for the internship, where will we live until we move? If we don't get accepted for the internship, will we stay in Waco with Sean working full time, trying to gain more flying hours, and still have time/energy to pull of a couple of internet courses that we both have to take? Will we know more by November, the month we TALKED (only talked) about trying for another kiddo? Actually, at this point in our lives I couldn't imagine having another baby. What if we decide MAF isn't the org we want to go with afterall? Where next? All of the endless possibilities would drive me insane if I thought about them constantly. I have days where they are on my mind often but for the most part I try to enjoy where I am at this moment. I love our house. I love the fact that I married my man in front of the fireplace in our living room (when our good friends inhabitted this place), I love that this was our first house after we were married, I love that we bought our only dog shortly after moving in, I love that we brought our first child home to this place and I'll stay here as long as permitted. This is our home.


I feel like I've been all over the place with this post. If you have any questions just ask. :)