I'm wondering when life will start filling me in on upcoming events. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. My husband talked to me this morning about giving our landlord a two months notice today on when we'll be moving out-which makes for December 1st. This wouldn't be such an....annoyance for me if I hadn't just gotten a job, gotten Anna-Kate used to a new schedule (and even myself), and became comfortable with my position in life right now. I mean come on, I just started actually HAVING a life, making friends, having fun, earning some much earned money and the whole shabang. Now, we're going to uproot my current "life" to begin another one...only to uproot that too eventually. I know it's part of living and getting to those dreams that have been out of reach for so long, but I was just getting used to settling for what's going now. And settling is obviously never a good thing. I don't want to settle for the little things in life when I know there are bigger things yet to be had. I think my problem is that I think way too much. What will we do when we get to where we're going? Are we even going to get there? How will it affect Anna-Kate's life? Will it change her fun loving personality? Will it make me more anxious/paranoid? Will we make decent money to live and do the things we want to do? Will we have decent healthcare? Will we waste our time striving for something only to be shot down? Will I reeeally be able to stand living with my MIL (she's totally awesome, I'm just saying)? Will things ever be normal-consistent-steady? Will we ever be at a place to have another child? Do we even want another child?
Blah blah blah.
Sometimes I wish I could shut off my brain.
2 comments:
whoa whoa whoa - how did you get from we don't know if we're even doing MAF to living with your mother in law? fill me in...
Hahaha... "click" there I did it for you! Please stop thinking you are going to hurt yourself kid. My goodness.... sometimes you just have to let God handle it ALL and stay out of the way ya know.
You are like the little puppy running around the feeders ankles so anxious to see what he brought you that you trip him and he has to keep going back for more food and eventually you will just not get fed. heheheehe.. he is going to run out of food if you keep making him waste it... Or you are going to have to get the scraps off the floor because you keep making it fall... wouldn't it be better out of the dish??? hehehehehe
I know it is hard when you don't see a "future" for yourself.. believe me but I also know that you are going to be miserable worrying about things you cannot change on top of making those around you (family) nuts trying to live with you. hhehehehehhe... love you, all will be well.
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